Confessions of a teenage transguy
(Source: puckermanfabray, via 44wibblywobblys)
I seriously think that this wasp is going to sting me and I am going to die. It sounds ridiculous but that’s what happens when you have a fucking phobia. And now I’m getting in trouble for it for having a messy room.
Everything is my fucking fault the wasp’s presence might as well be my fucking fault to I can’t do anything in this house without it being my fucking fault.
Some people think that others may find them undesirable because of the way they act or how they dress. Some people even think that their bodies are undesirable, but I don’t think anyone knows more about that than a transperson.
Being a pansexual transman that’s pre - everything is very challenging. I feel like if I date a queer girl, she’s just making an exception for me and will find someone who will actually be a girl for her and be comfortable with the parts she has. Which is why I’d like to date a straight girl, but at the same time I don’t have the parts to satisfy her. The same thing goes with guys. Straight guys won’t date me because I don’t identify as a female, and gay guys won’t date me because I don’t have the parts to satisfy them either!
I truly feel like there is no one in the entire world that I can ever satisfy and will stay with me and it’s one of the worst feelings ever.
But I really was happy with you as a girl, I really didn’t mind at all. If I did mind then don’t you think I would have left you? Yes I kind of want a boyfriend but I have no problem with having a girlfriend also, and I thought that I made that apparent by staying with you even though things went sour. I have always wanted to make things work, but it’s you who keeps giving up. And I feel like a real dick for thinking about having a boyfriend while I was with you. I’m sorry okay? But I guess that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I wish you would have talked to me about that earlier so we didn’t have to end on such a hurtful note. Guess it’s too late now.
And I’m not denying that I do feel sexual tension around my Twin, but at least I didn’t do what you did and actually go through with it. I know you were single but asking for me back after doing that is kind of a huge slap in the face.
Just diagnose me with cancer and finish the fucking job won’t you life?
